The Ifs and Buts of Union Budget: A Not So Detailed Analysis


​So, here comes another big festival of the country. The day our beloved, honorable (LOL..) finance minister will present the Union Budget in the most loved and hated place of our country (Yes, I’m speaking about the Parliament). This is the day, India truly becomes secular as on this day people from all religions; HINDU, MUSLIM, SIKH, CHRISTIAN, come together to listen to the incomprehensible jargon our experts have prepared and handed over to the finance minister, who being all mushy, carries it into his attache case, proudly flaunting it to all the media personnel  out there (seriosly, attache.. Are you a Local Babu from a Sarkari office; carry it in some high end Louis Vitton or Marc Jacobs.. Afterall, we are working hard day and night to pay our taxes. You are insulting us by not spending it recklessly).

Everybody from nook and corner of the country, will become an expert overnight as to what implications this budget wil have on the economic growth of the country. The channels and print media will tell you the detailed analysis with various cheesy headlines viz. “आम बजट: क्या जनता की उम्मीदों पर खरा उतरा”, or “क्या बजट आपकी जेब हल्की करेगा”. I still enjoy reading a column which has been persistent in a leading Hindi daily, title being,” पैसा कहाँ से आएगा और कहाँ जायेगा”. Leave aside main stream media, social media pages, the Right wingers who abuse SRK and Left wingers who abuse MODI, will stop boycotting movies of one of the most loved superstar or forget about making fun of clothes our respected PM wears. They will ask one of the admins (who uses heavy words to showcase his intellect) of their pages to write a detailed article on the budget (Yes, the one which is heavily plagiarized,copied from every possible literature available on the internet). He will make sure he uses so heavy words, that most of the readers leave it in between and according to their preferences, like or share the article on facebook or twitter.

Then there will be another group of people who are probably the most free persons on the planet. They have all the time in the world to show their funny side. They will start making jokes on the budget, (preferentially in Hindi as it spreads like a fire in the dry bushes) or will start displaying their photoshop skills editing million of pictures, and forwarding it to every person in their message box. I adore these people, as between all the stress and hulla-boo of the daily life, they are the ones who actually make you smile. They are infact destroying the jobs of many psychiatrists, shrinks and motivational speakers who charge a fortune for kicking out the depression out of you, and they are doing it for FREE…

Every tea stall will become economic war room with eminent panelists in their mid forties or those who are retired (frankly with no job to do), putting forward a plethora of views and suggestions on the budget. Some will curse and some one will praise the budget. But definitely all will give suggestions to save, invest, double your money. They may even ask you to bury your money deep in the ground or to hoard things of daily need to counter the wrongs done to you by the government. The more sophisticated lot will sit in a barista or a cafe coffee day, and will bring forth all the knowledge of economics they have accumulated over years, waiting for this perfect time to spill it (preferentially in English as it is more high class).

In between all these, the business man will be busy doing thier businesses; employess will keep working thier as***s off; housewives will keep doing their daily chores,yelling on their husband and their children in between; kids will be either slogging in the playground or study room; Doctors will be busy looking after patients or getting beaten from deceased patients’ attendants; soldiers will keep fighting with extremes of temperatures to safeguard the country; unemployed will keep on running from one job interview to another; labourers and farmers will keep toiling in the sun and the beggars on the street will keep nagging you in the name of GOD. These lot show no effect of budget on their daily routine, as if the budget never happened.

The RICH will remain RICH; The POOR will remain POOR, and MIDDLE CLASS will remain FRUSTRATED…..  

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